The Single Christian Woman
So I am a single woman and I am Christian. Two things usually happen when these things come together:
1. There is a large sense of DESPERATION as you get older…to get married. It usually does not come from you. It usually comes from people around you. People start asking you, “When are you going to have kids?” “When are you going to find someone?” To which I wish to answer, “I can’t, I don’t want to, and I won’t have kids until I get married” and “I need to find myself before I find…correction…before God places any one in my life” These people do not mean to make you feel this way, so please forgive them. Like Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34 (Insert winking emoji face). However, it does spring up a surmountable amount of anxiety when these questions start being thrown your way.
2. And then the next thing happens…waiting. Waiting for that perfect man. Waiting to be able to do things you can only do when you are in a relationship. Waiting for your turn to walk down the isle. Waiting. Waiting. WAITING. Let’s not forget that the waiting consists of sprinkles and dashes of what is listed in our lovely number 1.
In this blog, I decided to talk about the “Waiting Process” that most single women who want to get married go through. Not every single woman will or has felt like this, but to those who have, I pray that this renews your mind and gives you perspective.
My First Vacation…By Myself
So this week in a spur of the moment, I decided I wanted to go on a vacation by myself. So I came to Daytona Beach, Florida. My thought process behind this vacation was a plethora of strategic and complex maneuvers against every scrutiny ever thrown towards a single Christian woman. My though process went something like this (clears throat) “WAITING FOR WHAT!?!?” I don’t understand what the wait is for? Am I waiting to live my life? God has already given me life, so I am going to live it regardless. Life is a gift, much like salvation, that is handed over to us. The manner in which we take care of that gift, is completely up to the individual. Sorry future husband, but I am not waiting for you so that I can enjoy myself. I am not waiting for you to take a trip. I am not waiting for you to increase my walk with Christ. I am not waiting for you so that I can grow my ministry. I am not waiting for you so that I can start my business. I love you and I pray that you are a supportive and loving man, but honey boo boo…you’re not here yet sooooooo 🙂 …..
SIDE NOTE: I feel like I need to put this side note in here. I am not saying to live a life in sin. Keep it holy. The goal is still to get to the altar and not burn. If you are a Christian, you are a walking billboard for Christ. Your life should reflect your title.
This is where the mistake occurs. We get too caught up on “waiting” for someone that we forget to “live”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going on a trip by yourself if you wish to, or if no one else is available to go with you. Let me give you some perspective. I have a lot of friends who already have kids. They go to work. Leave their jobs around 4pm and go pick up the kids. They pass by the grocery store to get groceries. They get home and start cooking around 6:30pm. Their husbands come home. They eat dinner at 7:30pm. They help the kids with homework, 8:30pm. Put them to sleep. Take a shower. Talk to their husbands about their day, 10pm. Go to sleep. Then wake up the next day to do it all over again. Now, this is my day. I wake up. Go to work. Come home 4:30pm. Make myself a sandwich (or eat whatever left over is in the refrigerator, cause I hate cooking). I watch TV (sometimes take a nap or talk on the phone). Put on my workout clothes 6:30pm. Go to the gym (sometimes go to a church activity, or to my friends house, whatever sounds better at the moment). Get home, 8pm. Sometimes I work on my business, sometimes I don’t. I take a shower. Read my word, 9pm. Pray. Write, 9:30pm. Go to sleep. Do you see a difference? I literally get to do anything I want, any day of the week. I am not bashing married women. You all are the real MVPs. You all do so much for your families and everyone around you. Sometimes without even thinking about yourselves. The dedication that is put into that, is admirable and I respect you for that. But my single ladies, you get to do…ANYTHING, and we literally take it for granted.
If you are a single woman out there. Do not fret about the season that God has put you in. Instead embrace it. Do everything that ONLY you, as a single woman can do. When God moves you to the next season in life and you find your husband, then embrace that. Do everything that ONLY you, as a married couple can do. When God moves you to the next season in life and you start a family, then embrace that. Do everything that ONLY you can do as a family. If we learn to live in the moment, then we won’t waste another second waiting…for what exactly?